“Ambitious women will transform the world.” ~ me
I recently posted a quote about girls and being called bossy instead of leaders. The posting got a lot of attention and many women and girls could relate. How many of us have been called bossy at some point in our lives? The term boss girl is defined by hard work, about being the boss of your life, do whatever they want, when they want, eager, big dreams, runs the show, etc. These are pretty trendy terms.
The term boss girl to me means someone who is able and willing to take charge and help lead, encourage, and support others in working together to accomplish a task or goal. That is not about defining my own life, taking control of my own life, being overly eager, etc. It is about defining my own leadership abilities and helping others.
As a child, I was called bossy a lot and I probably deserved to be called bossy at times. But what I remember most about those situations is that a someone needed to make a decision and no one would. I would get frustrated just waiting for someone, anyone to make-up their mind. I didn’t care what we were doing, it was the point that we were wasting time, just sitting there, going nowhere.
Making choices or decisions, and heading in a direction are all part of leading. No one told me I could be a leaders or how I could learn to be a leader as a child or through all of school. It wasn’t until I was in college that I decided to take more ownership of my college opportunities to grow in professionalism, leadership, and service. I would offer to coordinate community service activities; I would seek out leadership roles; and I would watch others who I would define as strong leaders.
I read about leadership, the good and the bad; how to better work with others; how to motivate others; etc. I learned to work through conflict in leadership roles with concepts like, “never say you or point your finger at someone” say phrases like “help me understand your concern” or “what can I do to better help you”. I have observed and worked with some really great leaders and some really poor ones. But as a female, in a small rural community, I find that leadership can result in being defined as bossy, too assertive, eager, etc. that being a leader or in a leadership role can make others feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
Females in leadership roles should be found throughout all of society and in all aspects of business, community, government, etc. And females should be in these roles without being defined as bossy, aggressive, eager, etc. They want to help lead communities, governments, and business in very powerful ways without being told they are bossy. I can’t even count the number of times, that in a leadership role, that I have been called “honey” or have been asked if they can talk to a “man” or the “man in charge” which that was my role and there were no males in the office at the time. Or the times that I have been told that “let us men take care of that.”
I am not trying to take over the world, but it would be nice to be accepted and respected for having strong leadership abilities and being able to help bring groups together to better work together. I just want to help make my community a better place. In a time when women are taking a stand in society with the Me Too Movement, International Women’s Day, women’s marches, etc. In rural America, girls and women still need positive encouragement to grow in leadership, to seek out leadership roles, and to be prepared to confront others who feel they are being overly ambitious. Who knew that overly ambitious women are or can be bossy, scary, or intimidating.
So, to all females who have been called bossy or too ambitiousness, keep on moving forward and don’t let anyone tell you that you are not good enough to lead or too bossy to lead. Support each other in leadership. You are always growing in leadership, growing in professionalism and you will change the world.