The Art of Fake Resting

I just realized that I have a hidden talent…fake resting.  Well, it’s not really a talent, but actually a poor trait or activity.  I didn’t even know that the phrase “fake resting” even existed.  As I was reading one of my self-help books, I came across a chapter about fake resting and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I bet you are pretty awesome at fake resting as well. 

What is fake resting?  It is the art of acting like you are resting or taking it easy, but you are not.  For example, wearing your pajamas, running around the house on a Saturday, cleaning three bathrooms, folding laundry, grading papers, and making meals (while also taking care of your kids or other family members).  This is fake resting.  We tell ourselves that we are taking it easy but not doing “professional work” but drive ourselves into the ground with work at home.

Wearing pajamas or lounge clothes helps us “think” we are taking easy when we are not.  We are just taxing ourselves in other ways.  However, all these responsibilities at home can’t be ignored, right?  The clothes need washed, kids need food and meals, the floors need mopped, bathrooms need cleaned, etc. But replacing professional work with house-hold chores, this is not resting.  Guess what, no one will judge your bathrooms, dusting abilities or your floors.  And if they do, they are not your friend. 

I was once told (many years ago) that household work should be my “me time” or my resting time.  I was completely offended.  How are cleaning toilets, me time?????  However, I don’t even take care of myself or make it priority to take time to rest, read, be still, etc.

For our own mental health and self-care, there needs to be a dedicated time to actual rest (stillness).  This can be an hour in the morning when no one is up, cup of coffee in hand and a good book; or this can be a couple hours to go for walk, take a nap, workout, do yoga, do anything but work. 

In a prior post, I stated that no one will give you time, that you have to make time or take it for yourself or everyone else will hijack it.  Kids, spouses, co-workers, friends, etc. some very well-meaning people, but they don’t realize how much of your time is already chopped up, utilized, or does not exists.  We are not very good at seeing or understanding how full someone else’s plate really is.    

In order to stop the act of fake resting, I encourage you (and myself) to make time, take time, demand time for yourself with no chores, kids, meal prepping, work, etc.  When you are able to rest, you are happier, calmer, more relaxed.  That benefits everyone in your family and in your workplace. 

So, if you have perfected the art of fake resting, I am asking you to suck at it; stop it; and make yourself a priority.  Fake resting has no place in our lives, and I hope you find the time to be still.